I'm back, I'm employed, and I'm reading 50!

I am sitting on my couch, enjoying SYTYCD with my husband and enjoying a lovely glass of Merlot. Don't ask what kind because Merlot and Pinot Grigio are the extent of my wine knowledge.

I am relaxing peacefully knowing that my daughter, celebrating her 5th birthday today, is peacefully sleeping in her bed.

I am relaxing peacefully even knowing I have to get up early tomorrow so I can enjoy breakfast with my daughter before taking her to school and heading to me office.

I am relaxing peacefully knowing that in 45 minutes I will head upstairs and enjoy my husband before enjoying my second reading of 50 Shades of Grey.

The past 8 months have been a roller coaster ride. I resigned from a pretty high fluenting job that I loved but hated everything around it: the people in my office, the travel away from my daughter and husband, the stress of not sleeping because of micro-managing bosses...you get the picture. The final straw for me...well, let's just say I stayed too long in a job and I should have known better. Luckily, my support structure at home, with my friends and professionally stayed strong, even if I didn't.

But now, I can smile knowing tomorrow brings better and brighter things: a job where I am appreciated and enjoy doing what I do, even if it is not solving the world's problems; family and friends who love me unconditionally; a best friend that never gives up on me, makes me cry tears of joy thinking about how she has been through so much more than me her whole life, has handled everything life has thrown her with grace and dignity and manages to still provide a shoulder for me to cry upon and arms to hold and reassure me; and the joy of knowing that my husband loves me forever and without question.

Wow, I am very lucky to have what I have and am even happier knowing I have finalized realized it! Now, onto 50!

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Looking for work...

I did it. I left my job. The job which I held for seven years at a company that I worked for for nearly 12. The job which caused me so much stress that I was not sleeping, getting ulcers, and worst of all, not enjoying my husband and daughter. I never wanted to go to work and spent more time at a doctor's office that at home or work. But worst of all, my health was not the reason I left. It was the people I worked with.

I will not go I to details as I am trying to put it all behind and make a fresh start...no dwelling on the past.

At first, when I told just a few people, I heard rumblings of...in this economy? Are you crazy? What will you do? Followed by congratulations and good for yous.

Believe me, this was not a decision that came lightly nor was it rash. It came after months of not sleeping or being able to think rationally. It came after long conversations with my husband. It came after looking at budgets. It came after realizing that while I worked there, I would never be able to put my family and friends first.

So now my current job is finding a new job. One that will allow me to do what I love and put my family and friends and even myself first. I am also finding much more time to spend with my daughter. Already I have been able to chaperone her field trip and attend her open house (for the first time in ever!)

I spend 4 to 5 hours a day researching and tailoring my resume. I call companies I am interested in as well as recruiters and temp agencies in search of the perfect job. Mind you, the perfect job is not perfect, it just allows me to be happy.

I will keep you up to date on my progress...

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Bring your daughter to work day?

This afternoon, my co-workers and I visited our new office space, just purchased this week. After decades of renting, we would finally be owners and we were pretty excited. Champagne toasts all around as we celebrated while inecting our new space.

So now the interesting part. This morning, my husband dropped me off at work so he could take my car in to the shop for its annual state safety inspection (yes, he is wondeful but that is for a different blog!) When it was time to head to the new space in the late afternoon, I hitched a ride with a friend/co-worker to the new space, knowing that I would be pickex up by my husband and daughter at the day's end.

I took this opportunity to bring my daughter to work. Many of my co-workers have watched her grow up (she is four and I have been there for 11 years - many saw me get married!) And wanted to see her.

You see, I am not one for bringing my child into my office on a regular basis. I feel work is for work and only on my occassional day off, do I bring her in so as not to interrupt my work or that of my co-workers.

Back to my story... We arrived at the new space and after a thorough tour from the current occupants and a champagne toast, we settled in for some conversation about the space, the move and storage. Just 30 minutes in, my husband texted me that they had arrived so I went out to meet them and returned to the space. My daughter was shy, as most 4 year olds are in a room full of people - only half who know her well.

After some brief hellos, we made our way out the door, saying our good-byes and wishing all a good weekend. Fast, simple and what I thought was uninterrupting. Of course, I was so wrong...

We didn't even get out of the office space when we hear, "why would she bring her daughter in here?" We stopped out of eyeshot but not out of earsbot to have a listen. A few kind co-workers expressed their happiness in seeing her and their surprise at how big she has gotten. Yet one not so nice person expresses the ridiculousnees of bringing your daughter to work.

Wow, really?

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The end of summer...already?

I can't believe it. Summer is almost over. I know, I know, it is still July. But it is almost the end of July. Our annual end of summer journey to Hilton Head is just a few weeks away, signaling the end of summer.

i feel like it hasn't been a real summer yet. When I was young. We spent our days and nights outside...only coming in when our parents called us for dinner. Nowadays, I find myself running home from work to pick up my daughter and getting home to make dinner. It is too hot to play outside so we spend our evenings building with legos or magnets or coloring for a short while before heading upstairs to brush our teeth, take a bath, read some books, and go to sleep. I feel like we haven't had a real summer yet.

Don't get me wrong. We have had a great summer. Swimming, birthday parties, playdates, weddings, weekend getaways. Wow, summarizing it, we have been busy, but still, it is passing by too fast.

Of course, the heat isn't helping. No afternoon playtime at school. Too hot to kick a ball around or run through the sprinkler. Power outages making it too hot at the office. I am ready for my end of summer vacation to get a break from the heat, routines, and weekend trips...but still not ready for the summer to end.

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My 4 year old, my friends and my friends 4 year olds...oh my!

Today, I found out a friend of mine, whom I met because our children attend the same pre-school, has decided to pull her child out of the current pre-school and send him to another citing issues with the teachers in the kids' current classroom. I know this has been coming for a while as she has never been happy with the school but still it was a shock.

I understand her concerns and agree with some but perhaps I am not as critical as she. She works in the school system and I am only the child of a teacher (who just retired after nearly 40 years). My expectations for a daycare/pre-school may not be as high as hers.

My child is happy at school. When I pick her up, she wants to stay longer and finish whatever activity she is doing. She just turned four, is fully potty-trained (even at night), can articulate her thoughts, write her name and her friends' names, spell a few words and recognize them while we read books, count to 100 and can tell the most wonderful tales. Her imagination is growing daily and she is liked by her teachers.

Don't get me wrong, I do not think my child is a genius (although I do think she is very smart, of course!!) Most of the children in her class at or near her level. I am not sure what my friend is expecting though. Should I be expecting more? Because I "don't know any better," is my child missing out on something?

I don't think so. I think our philosophies on children are very similar. They should be happy and healthy, be able to express their feelings freely, and should always be learning in a fun environment. The difference is the methods of discipline - and a big difference it is. We both teach our child good manners and how to respect others but we also expect her to listen to and behave for her teachers. We try to explain that there are different rules at different places - school, home, grandma and grandpas, etc.

And there lies the difference: she believes the rules should be the same everywhere - and they should be her rules. Best example: naptime.

Her: "You don't want to take a nap? You don;t have to!"
Me: "I know you are not tired, but some of your friends are so you don;t have teo sleep but you do have to be quiet and respectful while your friends nap."

What could be worse than having your child tell their teachers they don't have to listen because "my mommy said I don't have to." Ugghhh...

I guess what bothers me most will be the girls nights out we will have when she will go on and on about how great her son's new school is and how she should have done this year's ago and how can we all keep our children in that place...

Until next time...

Just after bedtime...

I sit here on the couch with my laptop pondering the fact that I just put my child to bed and the sun is still up. Granted, it is after 8 pm, but still, it is summer and I feel like I should let her stay up and play outside a bit.

My friends are often amazed at the bedtime routine we have for our now four year old. By 7 pm, we are upstairs brushing her teeth and giving her a bath. Afterwards, we, my husband and I, crawl into her new "big girl" bed with her and read several books. This is the time of night we all love the most. It is relaxing and enjoyable. Lights are out by 8 pm.

This is the routine we have had almost since her birth and it works. There are no arguments about getting ready for bed or going to sleep. We can alter the times on the weekends easily to accommodate a late night out and it still works. During the week, we can get her up in time for school with little effort and she well behaved and pretty much always in a great mood.

Still, even with all the pleasure it brings, I still feel that if I didn't work so much, I could have her stay up later to play on these beautiful summer days. Thank goodness for weekend!!