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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My 4 year old, my friends and my friends 4 year olds...oh my!

Today, I found out a friend of mine, whom I met because our children attend the same pre-school, has decided to pull her child out of the current pre-school and send him to another citing issues with the teachers in the kids' current classroom. I know this has been coming for a while as she has never been happy with the school but still it was a shock.

I understand her concerns and agree with some but perhaps I am not as critical as she. She works in the school system and I am only the child of a teacher (who just retired after nearly 40 years). My expectations for a daycare/pre-school may not be as high as hers.

My child is happy at school. When I pick her up, she wants to stay longer and finish whatever activity she is doing. She just turned four, is fully potty-trained (even at night), can articulate her thoughts, write her name and her friends' names, spell a few words and recognize them while we read books, count to 100 and can tell the most wonderful tales. Her imagination is growing daily and she is liked by her teachers.

Don't get me wrong, I do not think my child is a genius (although I do think she is very smart, of course!!) Most of the children in her class at or near her level. I am not sure what my friend is expecting though. Should I be expecting more? Because I "don't know any better," is my child missing out on something?

I don't think so. I think our philosophies on children are very similar. They should be happy and healthy, be able to express their feelings freely, and should always be learning in a fun environment. The difference is the methods of discipline - and a big difference it is. We both teach our child good manners and how to respect others but we also expect her to listen to and behave for her teachers. We try to explain that there are different rules at different places - school, home, grandma and grandpas, etc.

And there lies the difference: she believes the rules should be the same everywhere - and they should be her rules. Best example: naptime.

Her: "You don't want to take a nap? You don;t have to!"
Me: "I know you are not tired, but some of your friends are so you don;t have teo sleep but you do have to be quiet and respectful while your friends nap."

What could be worse than having your child tell their teachers they don't have to listen because "my mommy said I don't have to." Ugghhh...

I guess what bothers me most will be the girls nights out we will have when she will go on and on about how great her son's new school is and how she should have done this year's ago and how can we all keep our children in that place...

Until next time...

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